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Bonding

Bonding
I have mentioned in previous posts, that to become successful we must have determination, desire, motivation just to mention a few and we must be consistent. Being consistent is so very powerful on its own and should apply to everything we do every day.
I have not been consistent in my posting recently and for that I apologise, but I have also advised you in earlier posts to understand what your priorities are, in which my priorities has been my family and in assisting with the care of my frail elderly mother. We have had a very close special relationship where we both bonded even more when my father was diagnosed with inoperable cancer, he was given just 3 months to live. My dad was just 56 years old.
In September 1984 my Mum and Dad now retired travelled to Qld in their F100 which thy called “The Beast” which was towing their caravan which they called “Beauty” so their travelling train become known as Beauty and the Beast. Dad spent a good 2 years getting the caravan and the F100 ready for driving around Australia, a dream of theirs for many years. They decided to do a short trip to test their travel rig to make sure everything was operational before embarking on a long trip, so Qld it was. I was thrilled to have them stay with me. I decided to take them to Bribie Island one day which was only about a 30 minute drive from my place, I knew my Dad would love it as he and I did a lot of fishing together over the years.
So impressed with Bribie Island, Mum and Dad drove their rig there the next day as they were able to book a site at a caravan park right on the passage where dad could put his boat in the passage very easily. They were so excited about Bribie Island so excited they decided to buy a house while they were there that they could use as a base.
The first week of October they travelled home to sell the farm so they could move to Bribie Island. Just a week after they left for home Dad rang me one night and told me he had a sore back and went to the doctor to get it checked out. This is the night I received that phone call we all hope we will never receive. My Dad told me he had inoperable cancer and that he had been given 3 months to live. I wasted no time to get packed (can’t remember doing any of this though) and I caught a bus down to their farm South of Sydney on the Southern Highlands. Dad didn’t want to be hospitalised nor did he want treatment. He just wanted to spend his last days at home on his farm with his family.
I was a nurse and my mother was a triple certificate nurse so the 2 of us cared for Dad at home. Through this Mum and I shared some very personal emotional moments and formed a bond that could and will never be broken. Dad deteriorated very quickly and was just a couple of weeks and he couldn’t walk. I remember spending hours on the phone trying to find wheel chairs we could hire and lots of different type of food which the doctors had recommended. Mum and Dad owned and lived on a farm which was 40 acres and had a herd of Murry Grey cattle.
I remember one day when going to town to buy groceries that there was one of our little calves on the side of the road. I pulled over and stopped the car and got out to investigate how it got out and there was a large whole in the fence. Wobats cause massive damage to not only fences but cars or anything. They are very solid and strong.  https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=wombats&qpvt=wombats&qpvt=wombats&qpvt=wombats&FORM=IGRE

When I returned home from shopping I hooked up the tractor and trailer and all the fencing equipment and headed to the damaged fence where it took the remainder of the day to fix.
I also remember the day one of Dads Murry Grey’s was about to give birth and each calf had to be tagged and documented. Dad asked me to watch her this day because sometime they can have problems with their birth and tractor and chains may be needed if this is the case. I had her in a separate paddock to the other cows as my dad recommended, and I could see she was uncomfortable but she just slowly walked up and down the paddock grazing every now and then. After me walking about 50 laps of this paddock along side of this cow I decided to take rest and sat on a log under this magnificent gum tree while keeping a close watch on the cow. The next thing the cow stopped walking turned her head a looked at me as if to say well aren’t you coming with me, then she turned around came over to where I was sitting on the log and in front of me laid down and proceeded to give birth right in front of me. I was in total shock, I have never experienced anything like this in all my life, this tiny beautiful little calf had arrived and its Mum was as proud of punch. I immediately stood up and in gum boots and overalls I rang up as graciously as I could to tell Dad the good news. He asked what did she have and I forgot to look didn’t I so down I ran back to the new baby and mother to check that out too. Just another life experience that made this whole horrible thing precious to me.
Mum and Dad put the farm on the market as soon as Dad found out he had in operable cancer but he wanted to repaint the butters and down pipes. Another new experience for me as I had not really done much painting in my earlier years but he entrusted me with this job. My Brother had his 21st Birthday on December 10th so Dad wanted him to have his 21st Birthday at the farm for family, relatives and friends as we all did. This was a lot of organising especially when a lot of time was spent caring for Dad as now he was full on care day and night. Mum and I had to take shifts at this stage I did the night shift, while that allowed Mum to be here when the doctor called each day. Dad was on pain relief injections every 4 hours. My brother Rod had a great 21st Birthday party on the 10th December 1984 with all his friends relatives and family. Dad enjoyed listening to every ones laughter and jokes throughout the party. Dad held on with ll his might to see Rod’s 21st Birthday. Dad passed away on the 13th December at his home with me by his side.
I stayed with Mum another couple of months after the funeral when I returned to Qld and my job which I was lucky to still have. The farm eventually sold and Mum moved to her home at Bribie Island. Because of Mum and I shared through this experience and the closeness we had created we did everything together now, we became more like best friends we had no secrets, but we had the greatest respect for each other. Dad asked me just before he passed away if I would look after Mum. Well yes I am doing it for Dad but also for Mum as I love her so much.

So life is not about the fast lane all the time, and it doesn’t matter how successful we come, these hard  painful times will cross all our paths one day, and it is through this that we become more tolerant, more compassionate and sensitive to the needs of other people.
You will never get over losing a parent or family member, it is with you every day but having wonderful memories helps to make it a little easier.
Enjoy your family while you have them and I am enjoying every minute I have with my Mum because I know I will not have her for much longer as she becomes more frail every single day.

 

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